Fuck that shit, I'm moving on!

Ever since I was a child I always wanted to be a dancer, more specifically a ballet dancer. Needles to say I found alcohol and The Cure and those dreams were sort of buried.

When I was around 25-27 I dreamed of having my own fashion magazine. Not to make money, not to follow the trends, just to have a place of my own, to give the world (or 2 of my friends who'd be the only ones reading the leaflet) my opinion on fashion as I see it. The operative concept being as I see it.

For the past few years my dream has been to have an exhibition in Berlin. It almost happened this summer but as I told earlier; it didn't.

So now my plans for the future are as follows: in the summer 2013 I'll have my exhibition in Berlin. While there I'll 'publish' the first issue of my brilliant fashion magazine. The name shall be a secret until then. And as for the first dream I'll keep you posted.

Laters.

love this!

"I've Only Just Begun" is a ragingly beautiful and empowering story about Venuz Vulgar and his friends on their way to St. Petersburg, Russia.

It's written and directed by E. Over 60 people were involved in this free, independent production. Thank you all. Big up. No fear. Says the introduction on Vimeo. 

This is beautiful, love the song, the hauntingly gloomy and decadent ambiance filled with hope and love.

love is in the air

i've always simply loved this song. this is just so insanely beautiful. we're moving in about two weeks. though our stay here has been sort of.. this has been our home for the past almost 3 years. it is still a bit sad to move out.

 

despite all my fighting and almost self-destructive behaviour i must simply accept the fact that i am in love, that all is just as it should be.

i love the view from here. i love the nights that are getting darker, it's about moving on, letting go of the past. elämä kantaa.

When did we get so fat and what happened to my dreams? Vol. II

My dreams.. I've always been a dreamer, always. I had some ludicrous ideas in my head when I was 20 something, even more happening when I hit 30. Then something happened, I sort of fell to a bad crowd. Last spring was probably one of the hardest times I've struggled through. Now things are starting to look brighter once again. We're moving to a new flat in 2 weeks, we're going to make it into a haven of prettiness and (hopefully in time) obscurities. As a huge lover of anything odd, strange, trashy or just plain ugly I'm really starting to have clear visions on where to start the place. It's gonna be all muted colors on walls, bright colors on furniture, DIY-lamps (sort of like my fave piece in this place; the chandelier I made years ago when in Helsinki) and the best part; we have a huge balcony that I want to turn into a very lovely oasis of love and happiness.

Now I hear you asking where do you find the best ideas, hints and inspiration and I can only answer with one word; OutsaPop Trashion. Ok two words.

This is without a doubt THE most brilliant blog in the entire world. Not only am I getting huge buzz going on in my head on what to do with our home to be but also inspiration on stuff clothes and shit I could and should be doing. And I hear the bells of Berlin ringing once again.. hopefully next summer. Hopefully I'll get a great job before that and I'd be thin and gorgeous!

When did we get so fat and what happened to my dreams? Vol. I

I work for a big company, selling clothes. Something that I've always wanted to do; to work in fashion, get paid.. Now the place I work for has really nothing to do with fashion, it's just clothing. And the main point is to sell. Sell as much as you can, to everyone. Force them to buy. Anything as long as you sell. Now I have two (is this the correct way of saying this?) degrees in fashion, I sort of know a lot about it. To be perfectly honest I feel like my 'talents' are just going to trash working where I work. I think it's telling something that I work in a clothing shop and my degrees in fashion and/or clothing don't matter when it comes to my paycheck..

From my own little shop that I had to close in the spring to this place.. I mean the two worlds couldn't be further apart. First of all I work in a mall outside the bright lights of this big city and I mean.. people are different, we come in all shapes and forms but still I keep wondering how and when did Finns get this fat? And I'm not talking about some little chubbiness of few extra-kilos, no. I'm talking about really obese people, young people, kids.. To me it's really disturbing trying to explain to a 14-year-old kid that the biggest size we have is XXXL and apologize that it's too small for him. I mean really? Then you see the parents and just realize that this kid is going to grow up fatter and fatter till the point his joints are just plain ruined by the time he hits his 20s. I find it incredibly sad and disturbing. And the sad part is that it's not a rarity anymore. When it comes to adults it's sort of.. you know it's your life and body you're allowed to get as sick as you want but seeing fat kids is the part that hurts me, almost personally.

When I use the words white trash I've been sort of referring to myself and my friends, more as a joke but with a slight hint of truth in the shadows. Not anymore. At the moment my daily customers are whiter than white, trashier than trash. It's even more of a struggle to me than the fact that after working there for a month I still don't know how much I earn or have signed any contract regarding my employment.

Anyway, the follow up to this question is that is it really fair then that all the blame is on the 'fashion industry', that it's making only clothes for skinny people, models and anorectics? Don't think so. There are more shops opening for 'plus-sized' people all the time even here in Finland (I used to think it's merely the Americans that get that big..) and to think that we need clothes in the size 9XL is beyond me. And what I find interesting are all the light-products in the stores, all the fat free shit that people keep buying and eating. And still..

I'll get to my lost dreams in a moment..